an interview with Jimi Five

q: why are all of the stories here only about plastic surgery?
a: they aren't. they're about people.

q: clever. a: okay, what i meant was, they're about the human condition -- about emotions, relationships, security, deeper meaning, death, gender struggle, self-image, societal pressures, aesthetics, culture — q: stop! what you meant was, you're trying to capitalize on today's cosmetic surgery craze by creating a snooty web version of that sleazy television show. like with your domain name, nipped and tucked. a: it happens to be the other way around. our domain and first site were on the Internet years before they even had a pilot. q: so it looks like you missed out. a: on the commercialization, i guess so. but there's still nothing else quite like us, either online or in print. read a story and you'll understand.

q: not so fast. is the writing here literary or popular?
a: that depends upon what you mean. if you're looking for the same-old same-old from a creative writing major, you won't find it here. if you favor the fabulous, the surreal, and prickly situations imagined to their extremes, you may find the stories interesting. they're built around an experience that not many people have and from an insider's perspective. some may be short and light, yet even those are deceptively serious. but literary or popular--honestly, who today really cares?

q: i do. i'm a reviewer. i care.
a: okay, how's this? i'm trying to cut through the glossy skin of plastic surgery and expose its gritty guts, a sort of plastic surgery from the inside out.

q: much better. except what makes you such an authority?
a: in real life, i'm a full-time practicing plastic surgeon. honestly.

q: i bet. a writer trapped inside the body of a doctor.
a: all work and no play makes a surgeon's blade go dull.

q: but how do you find enough free time to write fiction?
a: by skimping on precious sleep and personal relationships, just like every other writer.

q: new subject. what does that crazy wood figure who appears all over your site have to do with plastic surgery? a: woody's the site's mascot. he's all about plastic surgery. q: and all the childish graphics? a: the illumination? that's covered here. but they're not childish. if you think illuminating a story is easy, go try. q: i just might. are there any more stories than the dozen or so you have here? a: there are well over forty, but only the shorter ones seemed suited for online reading. besides, most of the others are either too abstract or odd for illumination or too professionally disruptive for online posting. q: speaking of odd, how do you pronounce your first name? a: think purple haze.

q: so assuming you're a surgeon, many of the details in your stories must be factual. isn't that taking advantage of the doctor-patient relationship?
a: maybe you should click on the legal link located down below.

q: why are so many of your stories so hard to find on this site?
a: i discovered that some readers confuse fiction with reality to the point of sending insulting and even threatening messages (really!). as you might suppose, the stories they found most offensive are the most inventive of the lot. so, if you now stumble onto a story, at least it's not in your face and can only be read if you make a conscious decision to do so.

here's one the shortest and benign of them all, a sort of thank you for wading through this interview:

[ Informed Consent ]